The first chapter of this book, much like many others, is an introduction to the book's topic and basically sets the stage for the rest of the book. What stood out to me most in this chapter is our society's focus on the "quick fix" for marital or relationship problems. You've seen it - on magazine covers in the grocery store: "6 ways to have a better marriage", or on internet search engine's: "3 easy steps to a better relationship", etc. It occurred to me in this first chapter, that we are inundated with quick and easy steps - none of which seem to be long lasting or life changing. It struck me that God must have had something else in mind for marriage.
Thomas says,
"What if God didn't design marriage to be 'easier'? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"In Christian circles the tendency is to encourage our family and friends to pray harder, or learn a few of those ever-helpful principles or techniques. This isn't to say that learning to communicate better or be more conscious of your spouse's needs; only to suggest that those things, ultimately, won't achieve the change that God wants for you, and for your marriage.
Well, I hope that you will consider thinking on those points; consider what God intends for your marriage (or impending marriage), and ask yourself this question, referring to your spouse:
"Are you going to fulfill me, or will God fulfill me?" For many, the answer will come quickly, but practically speaking, if you're like me, you'll often look for fulfillment from your spouse first. This was a challenging thought for me, I hope it is for you as well.
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